Monday, August 3, 2009

"When half-gods go, the gods arrive"

Give all to love;
Obey thy heart;
Friends, kindred, days,
Estate, good fame,
Plans, credit, and the muse;
Nothing refuse.

'Tis a brave master,
Let it have scope,
Follow it utterly,
Hope beyond hope;
High and more high,
It dives into noon,
With wing unspent,
Untold intent;
But 'tis a god,
Knows its own path,
And the outlets of the sky.
'Tis not for the mean,
It requireth courage stout,
Souls above doubt,
Valor unbending;
Such 'twill reward,
They shall return
More than they were,
And ever ascending.

Leave all for love;—
Yet, hear me, yet,
One word more thy heart behoved,
One pulse more of firm endeavor,
Keep thee to-day,
To-morrow, for ever,
Free as an Arab
Of thy beloved.
Cling with life to the maid;
But when the surprise,
Vague shadow of surmise,
Flits across her bosom young
Of a joy apart from thee,
Free be she, fancy-free,
Do not thou detain a hem,
Nor the palest rose she flung
From her summer diadem.

Though thou loved her as thyself,
As a self of purer clay,
Tho' her parting dims the day,
Stealing grace from all alive,
Heartily know,
When half-gods go,
The gods arrive.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I read the quote in a short story where a teenage girl is heartbroken by her teenage boyfriend (teenage love gone sour) and her mum wrote on her mirror in red lipstick..."Heartily know that when half-gods go, the gods arrive".

Aaaaaaw how sweet!

I felt all mushy and I wished someone had told me that when my half-gods came rolling around and broke my heart.

See I've had my share of half-gods. The one who broke my heart when I loved to love, before I became cynical about love at 19. Then there was the possessive one, and the playa etc etc.
I had given up. "There is no good man left, and I'll take the ish I can deal with". That was my thing, my final decision. I'd stopped looking. Then I met him and I rediscovered that though there are a few good men, they still exist.

He came to visit. It was wonderful having him here, and so sad to have him leave. I wished he could have stayed for longer. I for the first time hated that we lived in separate states. I wanted him to stay with me and not leave me. I felt that I was losing him though he tried to comfort me by telling me that I'm not losing him. I did not want him to leave me. I felt like Pink in her song "please don't leave me". I was very sulky, but trust me you would also, after the great time we had together that weekend. Let me give you snippets of what we did on the weekend.

I picked him Up from the airport on Thursday. We went to lunch at Chillis and we got to talking. He was a little shy at first tho I tried to get him most comfortable. He started loosening up and we were good. Lunch was pleasant and I could tell that we both had a good time. We later went home and rested for a bit, and talked some more then ran some errands for my friend at the mall. Later we went grocery shopping and got some wine and his scotch whiskey and we came home and he made dinner. He also met my roommate and was great.

Friday we took my friend to the airport and he was helpful with the bags- very gentlemanly of him, and later that afternoon we picnicked up in the canyon at a quiet park. He liked it a lot. We spent the whole afternoon there, took lots of pics and talked some more. Later we went to the farmers market to get some greens, then we had coffee at a coffee joint, then we went to see my friend at work. He was great with my friends and I liked that a lot.

Saturday we had lunch with some close friends. Lunch that he was making! He made some delish chapos! and two kinds of meat- beef stew and nyama (beef) fry. He was amazing! Everybody loved his food and liked him too. That afternoon we (my two friends, him and I) went to visit a famous resort close to where I live. We took gondola lifts to the top of the mountains. It was very scenic and romantic. Then we drove to Park city and walked along main street. He enjoyed it a lot. He was also buying me gifts like every store we went to. He got me a mug with my name on it, box of assorted chocolates and flowers (on Friday).

Sunday we went to church together. I loved that I got to share that with him. He was cool and did great. He was holding my hand throughout the service. He was great- did I say that already?
After church we went to lunch at a restaurant at the mall, then walked around the mall; he got new shoes that I chose for him. I got him a key chain souvenir and a wallet coz his had seen better days. Took him around my school for a littel bit. He liked the place and now he's thinking of doing a doctorate degree at there. I'm opposed to the idea. Came home, packed and chilled (read cuddled) for a bit before I took him to the airport.

He's wonderful. And just for being nice to me, I wanna love him...actually I do love him. He says he loves me too. He was holding my hand the whole time he was here and he's not ashamed to show that he loves/cares for me. He'd peck me or kiss me on the forehead even when my friends were around. Everybody that met him couldn't help notice how good he was to me and how well he treated me. I try to be nice to him too- he hasn't complained yet.
Another thing, he's bringing out the goodness in me- he's such positive energy. He's a breath of fresh air in my dating life knowing all the losers I've dated. Like I said, I cannot be mean to him because he so nice to me and respects and believes that I deserve the best. He's very appreciative of my friendship and companionship to him.
He plans for us to date for a long time, and honestly I'm looking forward to that. I'd like to experience being in a mature relationship.
Did i mention that he picked up almost every bill when he was around? What a gentleman!

Definitely, when half gods go, the gods arrive.

Later :*


Deepthi A said...

hi , I can't help but wonder are you'll still together ? did it work out? :) its 2013. it's been 4 years. Just curious