Tuesday, June 23, 2009

BIG things and small things

Today at work I was talking to out department secretary. She's a very nice lady. I like her a lot! She's very personable and she has helped me with a lot- time card and all. Every time I get a chance to see her I'm excited and whenI haven't seen her in a long time, I'll pass by to say hi.
Anyway I was telling her that I was planning to go to California in 2 days. She was excited for me genuinely (not that I'm surprised) and we got to talking. I told her that I figured/thought that if I couldn't do the BIG thing (that is traveling back home) I might as well travel through the states! Then she put it in a way that I had to write about it- "If you can't do the BIG things, do the small things". I really liked that. Now, the challenge is to apply that in my life...not to bother with the huge stuff if I can get gratification in small stuff.

On a lighter note: Thinking about it, I may have taken Carolyn's words (the secretary) to heart coz I went to the mall after work and bought some sexy little things from Victoria's secret! hehehe. I've come to like that shop tremendously. Hmmmm Bath and Body Works is in trouble. They don't enjoy my patronage as much these days =(.

So yeah, I'm doing my small thing!
And, I'm so excited for my trip, I'm going with my friend Christine and Hannah will join us there. I think it'll be a lovely time :-)


Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Kite Runner

Yeah, big word ain't it?
I recently finished reading 'The Kite Runner' By Khaled Hosseini and the theme of HONOR kept coming up every time. First, it was a very good read, I would recommend it to anyone who's in for some intense reading. I cried twice.
HONOR- what will I do to maintain my HONOR, is my word HONORABLE?
HONOR- am I willing to die for HONOR? Knowing me I'd probably sell out and find a way of justifying myself. Sadly, I'm not HONORABLE.
HONOR- think about it Njeri, HONOR.
Note to self: be HONORABLE

Love, Peace, HONOR

Kisses :-*

Even Napoleon had Waterloo

Today, June 18th way back in 1815, Napoleon fought his last battle- The Battle of Waterloo. Napoleon was a great man, his actions shaped Europe for much of the 19th century. To some extent, I admire him- really. Well I have had times that I was going undefeated like Napoleon, or the energizer bunny, if you wish. Then I slow down look behind, at my plunder, and still emptiness! I take on the world like I'm trying to prove a point then I realize I'm not impressing anyone. That's how I feel right now. I'm a little bit of a show off believe it or not, and even when I'm living my life quietly, I want people to notice that I'm doing that. pathetic, right? Maybe I'll change, there's no telling.
I'm finally facing my Waterloo. haha. yes I am. I don't know what to do with myself, I'm at the end of my road and I thought things would be much clearer now but nope, they aren't. I'm my most confused now, where is my life going. "I'm gonna pray about it and ask Divine guidance" I tell myself on occasion, but I end up worrying myself sick! And you know how much I suck at asking for help. It takes a lot, and I really don't wanna ask for help with this.
Then I remember that I'm still single. arrrgh! Annoying, seriously. I was chatting with one of my friends on facebook, then he suggested someone for me. Someone he thought would be good for me. The whole time I was chatting and asking him about this guy I as thinking, "I'm so confused right now, so undecided that I wouldn't wanna be with me." Yes, it's that bad. So I haven't heard form this guy and usually i would have been on my friends case asking him to tell the guy to call me. But I'll just sit this one out, maybe when he gets around to calling, I'll have figured things out. And be a better "phone friend". Another thing, I don't want a relationship, ok ok, I want one but I'm not in a good place in my life to have one. I'm a mess- YUCK!
Quoting from one of my favorite songs 'even the best fall down sometimes', the song by Pink -Vietnam also explains things -'this is my Vietnam, I'm at war. Life keeps on dropping bombs and I keep score.'

Finally facing my Waterloo. But I will not take a bow just yet!

Kisses :-*