Friday, February 26, 2010

Boredom is the mother of writing

I'm really bored.

I'm visiting Mr. Man and he's working tonight so I'm bored to tears.
My last post got me to think about all the things that I'd like to do. This is a very random list so bear with me. One day when I'll have all of them in there, I'll organize the list.

DO my Masters in International Development.

RUN an NGO that empowers women and children.

ENSURE that all women and children in the world are protected and are empowered.

OWN a restaurant and work in it. A soup, salad and sandwich place in any of the major cities in Kenya. Preferably Nairobi.

HAVE a cute apartment with an earthy-red accent wall.

ENTERTAIN friends to good food and wine and game nights.

HOLD a "King of Queens" night party, where we just watch the funny episodes of the show.

COOK. Gourmet cooking.

CREATE a gourmet sandwich, salad and soup. My creation.

BE a contributor to a magazine. (oops! a friend once asked me to do this but I was super busy and couldn't).

PURSUE writing. I realize that I'm not the best writer but I'd like to become better.

BECOME a make-up artist. I'm good with eye shadow.

DRESS really really well. Simply but well.

PRAY that everyone in my family gets all the opportunities that they would wish for. That their lives are great.

BUILD a house for mum and dad.

TRAVEL the world alone or with a loved one. Girlfriends included.

EAT at quaint little places in Portland and Seattle.

SING in the rain.

LOOK fabulous and elegant effortlessly.

BE a source of encouragement to the young ones and those around me.

WEAR cute knee high suede boots with a short dress. That is scrumptiously cute.

LOOK cool when smoking a cigarette. Currently I have a possessed look when I'm smoking.

WEAR crimson lipstick and pull it off with un-surpassable confidence.

GOING FEMME FATALE." i am an emotional creature"

I just finished watching WHIP IT. How cute is Ellen Page? I really liked her on that movie. And I like the movie so much that I think I'll buy it to own. It's very cute, and I think relevant to this day and age. It was accurate in how it portrayed Babe Ruthless (Page) as this high school kid who only does what is shoved down her throat. She is living an already mapped out life, she does pageants. And she was good at it, only that she DID NOT LOVE IT at all. Then she met the HURL SCOUTS who changed her life. She took the try-outs and made the team.

She became her own HERO. I take pride in the plans that I have for my future. That movie and other literature I've read got me thinking: Have my goals and plans been CONDITIONED by what I see others doing, have they been conditioned by how other people around me live their lives. What if I'm that 'WILD FACTOR'. Will I miss out on something great because society expects me to be doing such and such at such and such point in my life?

Granted that it was a movie, Ruthless did not know different from pageants. Pageants were her way out of small town Bodeen. That's what worked or she was told worked. She did something different and it turned out great. She was HAPPY and it gave her important life experiences. She was wiser and learned to be self supportive. She was happy, she was having tons of FUN, just by doing that 'wild' thing that to others was a dead end.

I don't want to beat a dead horse here. So I'll move on to the next thing. I read this excerpt from Eve Ensler's I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World . I read it in the most recent issue of Glamour magazine. I really want to buy the book. It was heartfelt and resonated so well with me.

Preach on Eve Ensler!

It's about how we women (and men too) should do the things that make us happy. The things we WANT to do. What we BELIEVE, SMELL, EAT, BREATH, DREAM-SO-REAL-YOU-CAN-TASTE-IT.

Yes that thing. You know it you brilliant creature you ;)

Dear Emotional Creature:
Everyone seems to have a certain way they want you to be - your mother, father, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, boyfriends, fashion gurus, celebrities, girlfriends. In reporting my new book, I learned a very disturbing statistic: 74 percent of young women say they are under pleasure to please everyone.

I have done a lot of thinking about what it means to please: to be the wish or will of somebody other than yourself. To please the fashion setters, we starve ourselves. To please men, we push ourselves when we aren't ready. To please our parents, we become insane overachievers. If you are trying to please, how do you take responsibility for your own needs? How do you even know what your own needs are? The act of pleasing makes everything murky. We lose track of ourselves. We stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives. We forget what we know. We make everything OK rather than real.

I have had the good fortune to travel around the world. Everywhere I meet teenage girls and women giggling, laughing as they walk country roads or hang out on city streets. Electric girls. I see how their lives get hijacked, how their opinions and desires get denied and undone. So many of the women I have met are still struggling late into their lives to know their desires, to find their way.

Instead of trying to please, this is a challenge to provoke, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. Listen to the voice inside you that might want something different. It's a call to your original self, to move at your own speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color.

When I was your age, I didn't know how to live as an emotional creature. I felt like an alien. I still do a lot of the time. I am older now. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be OK with being different, with being this alive, this intense. I just don't want you to have to wait that long.

Eve Ensler

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day and other findings....

Hello there. Been a miute right? Well I've been busy reading books, magazines, pamphlets, journals, publications etc. Just reading- that's what I do best. I wish I read this much during college. I read better for fun. I'm sure the Barnes and Noble employees have noticed the many hours I spend at the bookstore. I love it there, so much that I'll spend over 4 hours in the bookstore reading different things.

I've read so many magazines and now I know of approx. 100 ways to please my man, and how to land the perfect gentleman. I've also read about why men love bitches. I've read about the 250 job interview questions most asked and the answers to get you the job. I've read about how Ivanka Trump's achieved success and basically how the Trumps roll blah blah blah :p

What else have I read??? There is so much I cannot remember it all now.

Valentine's Day is today. Happy Valentine's Day. It was a good day. I got flowers yesterday from Mr. Man. They were gorgeous and the message on the card was sweet. I absolutely loved them. Funny (or not so funny) thing is that Mr. Man had convinced me that he wasn't going to get me anything for Valentne's Day. I was straight up bummed. But later he said that he had to tell me that so that I wouldn't ruin the surprise. Yesterday was a happy day, I was animatedly excited. Thanks babe for the flowers:)
I got him a book. I hope he'll like it. I think he will, and a Valentine's Day card.

Now on other news.
I still haven't found a job yet. But this hiring agency says that there shouldn't be any problems finding me one. They say that there have been openings lately.

Other findings:

Men Love bitches!

no I didn't know that.

If you (a lady) treat yourself as a prize, he will become a believer and will treat you as a prize. I learned that from the book "Why men love bitches". The book says that men don't like 'nice' girls. Girls who give too much of themselves to a guy or a relationship.

I did not read vey much of it. Some of the ideas they have there of how to be a bitch are straight-up exhausting. They will require tons of energy (for me, atleast!)
Plus I am not like that. I'M NOT A BITCH and would not be even if I tried. I am a nice person. I don't like to play games, actually, I don't know how to.


I'm listening to Joss Stone's 4 and 20 hours. It's such a lovely song. She is an amazing soul singer. I put her in the ranks of Alicia Keys.

I watched the star studded movie "Valentine's Day". It was cute. Yes just cute. I liked it but it could have been better. Taylor Swift was interesting?? Eric Dane and Bradely Cooper gay couple??? what a waste. (was that the twist?) Julia Roberts didn't talk much. Anne Hathaway was cute. Jennifer Garner was amazing- she did well. Patrick Dempsey- promiscous?? They ruined the perfect man image I had of him (Dr. Shepherd).
Anyhoo. That was my weekend. It was a good weekend.

Peace and blessings :)