Friday, February 26, 2010

GOING FEMME FATALE." i am an emotional creature"

I just finished watching WHIP IT. How cute is Ellen Page? I really liked her on that movie. And I like the movie so much that I think I'll buy it to own. It's very cute, and I think relevant to this day and age. It was accurate in how it portrayed Babe Ruthless (Page) as this high school kid who only does what is shoved down her throat. She is living an already mapped out life, she does pageants. And she was good at it, only that she DID NOT LOVE IT at all. Then she met the HURL SCOUTS who changed her life. She took the try-outs and made the team.

She became her own HERO. I take pride in the plans that I have for my future. That movie and other literature I've read got me thinking: Have my goals and plans been CONDITIONED by what I see others doing, have they been conditioned by how other people around me live their lives. What if I'm that 'WILD FACTOR'. Will I miss out on something great because society expects me to be doing such and such at such and such point in my life?

Granted that it was a movie, Ruthless did not know different from pageants. Pageants were her way out of small town Bodeen. That's what worked or she was told worked. She did something different and it turned out great. She was HAPPY and it gave her important life experiences. She was wiser and learned to be self supportive. She was happy, she was having tons of FUN, just by doing that 'wild' thing that to others was a dead end.

I don't want to beat a dead horse here. So I'll move on to the next thing. I read this excerpt from Eve Ensler's I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World . I read it in the most recent issue of Glamour magazine. I really want to buy the book. It was heartfelt and resonated so well with me.

Preach on Eve Ensler!

It's about how we women (and men too) should do the things that make us happy. The things we WANT to do. What we BELIEVE, SMELL, EAT, BREATH, DREAM-SO-REAL-YOU-CAN-TASTE-IT.

Yes that thing. You know it you brilliant creature you ;)

Dear Emotional Creature:
Everyone seems to have a certain way they want you to be - your mother, father, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, boyfriends, fashion gurus, celebrities, girlfriends. In reporting my new book, I learned a very disturbing statistic: 74 percent of young women say they are under pleasure to please everyone.

I have done a lot of thinking about what it means to please: to be the wish or will of somebody other than yourself. To please the fashion setters, we starve ourselves. To please men, we push ourselves when we aren't ready. To please our parents, we become insane overachievers. If you are trying to please, how do you take responsibility for your own needs? How do you even know what your own needs are? The act of pleasing makes everything murky. We lose track of ourselves. We stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives. We forget what we know. We make everything OK rather than real.

I have had the good fortune to travel around the world. Everywhere I meet teenage girls and women giggling, laughing as they walk country roads or hang out on city streets. Electric girls. I see how their lives get hijacked, how their opinions and desires get denied and undone. So many of the women I have met are still struggling late into their lives to know their desires, to find their way.

Instead of trying to please, this is a challenge to provoke, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. Listen to the voice inside you that might want something different. It's a call to your original self, to move at your own speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color.

When I was your age, I didn't know how to live as an emotional creature. I felt like an alien. I still do a lot of the time. I am older now. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be OK with being different, with being this alive, this intense. I just don't want you to have to wait that long.

Eve Ensler