Sunday, October 11, 2009


You know a song I really like- Human by The Killers. I absolutely love it and I'm not sure what emotion that song is reminiscent of but it gives me this feeling where I get very emotional. It's kind of like my life is defined by songs.
Do you have that? I mean songs that remind you a particular person or event or time in your life? Sometimes I like it- when it's good memories but I think Human was at a time that I was lost. I doubted everything and I had no prospects. I was home sick like hell and I was a lacklustre individual at the time. I had no passions, nothing could get me excited...I was surviving. Lifeless.

It's been a while since I last wrote on here. Partly because I think that I should just transfer to a journal and also because school is keeping me very busy. I might get a journal, I feel 'safer' that way. I think I can write about my very real feelings in a journal. I pray that it never gets into the wrong hands. Blogging is kinda fun, It was a fun project for me when I needed it, but I seem to never have the time to write. Oh I just remembered that I should write my youngest brother a letter. I want to surprise him that way. I think it will do him good. Nothing feels better than receiving a hand written letter. Its one of those things that should have stayed 'in vogue'. I like that personal touch letters have.

So what was I going to write about? I'm thankful for life. I'm thankful for health. I'm thankful that even if I don't have all that I could wish for write now- the important thigs in my life (right now) are taken care of. I'm thankful for a sound mind. I'm thankful for family and friends. I'm thankful.

I need to stop whining and start appreciating and being more thankful. I remember what I did to get over a certain someone who'd broken my heart. I served other people. I became that person who called up friends to see how they were doing. I called friends into my house and prepared dinner for them. I served others. It ceased to be all about me. It was all about my friends. And it felt dang good.

I need those endorphins. In giving, I get a high like no other. Endorphins are GOOOOOODDDDD. I need that high right now- coz I'm going down. I can feel it coming. So I'm going to start my youngest brother's letter. I'll make him my penpal...even though he may not be able to mail me a letter. I still will write him.

There's so much else that I wanna say but I cannot say it here. I think I'll be getting a journal. Thanks fellow bloggers or 'blog stalkers that hide in the shadows' I used to be one so I know. Take a plunge...write something and see how it feels. I may be talking to myself, but it works for me that I think someone reads this junk. I'll write good stuff here and the real stuff, will be in a journal.